Comments on: Relating | Should your EX be your friend or enemy? http://www.roxannewilson.com/relating-should-you-be-friends-or-enemies-with-your-ex/ Reality after The Apprentice Tue, 20 Mar 2012 09:23:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: roxanne http://www.roxannewilson.com/relating-should-you-be-friends-or-enemies-with-your-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-980 roxanne Sat, 24 Jul 2010 01:37:25 +0000 http://www.roxannewilson.com/?p=878#comment-980 Positive even in pain... Positive even in pain…

]]> By: roxanne http://www.roxannewilson.com/relating-should-you-be-friends-or-enemies-with-your-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-979 roxanne Sat, 24 Jul 2010 01:37:09 +0000 http://www.roxannewilson.com/?p=878#comment-979 Talk about a dose of reality. So you would do the rip the band-aid off approach... Talk about a dose of reality. So you would do the rip the band-aid off approach…

]]> By: Sheila http://www.roxannewilson.com/relating-should-you-be-friends-or-enemies-with-your-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-949 Sheila Thu, 15 Jul 2010 06:04:17 +0000 http://www.roxannewilson.com/?p=878#comment-949 I think a clean cut of communication is important in the beginning of a break up. It is too hard to move on with your life when you are constantly reminded of your ex. Hearing their voice is one thing, but you also have to eliminate the other things... This meaning mementos- like that picture hanging of you two in your room, the cute anniversary card they made you, and even that shirt they gave you. Everything. Memories are inscribed in our hearts forever, that right there is all you should have of a pass ex. I think its okay to be friends with an ex when you have gotten pass all the questions, the why's?, the confusion, the hate and the tears. If you can constantly pray and wish happy things for this person and not get upset when you see them or hear about them with someone else and actually be happy for them. Then I think your at a place where if friendship is invited and has graced itself the opportunity then I think it is perfectly healthy to do so. You have to make sure that the motivation and intentions behind your friendship are in the right light. For both parties. If this person was an important part of your life, I think it is important to be friends with this person in the future. So many of us hold onto our pride and forget that we once loved this person very much. Plus you never know where it might lead you, maybe you realize wow this person is not the one for me at all. Or maybe you both realize with time apart that you still love each other dearly. Maybe certain Questions will be answered. But We have to be reminded- "Do not arouse or awaken love, until is so desires"- Verse in Song of Solomon. Do not try to get back with the person if they broke up with you, do not try to win their hearts... God knows your intentions. So make sure its purely for the sake of catching up and being a friend. :) Let God do the rest. I think a clean cut of communication is important in the beginning of a break up. It is too hard to move on with your life when you are constantly reminded of your ex. Hearing their voice is one thing, but you also have to eliminate the other things… This meaning mementos- like that picture hanging of you two in your room, the cute anniversary card they made you, and even that shirt they gave you. Everything. Memories are inscribed in our hearts forever, that right there is all you should have of a pass ex.

I think its okay to be friends with an ex when you have gotten pass all the questions, the why’s?, the confusion, the hate and the tears. If you can constantly pray and wish happy things for this person and not get upset when you see them or hear about them with someone else and actually be happy for them. Then I think your at a place where if friendship is invited and has graced itself the opportunity then I think it is perfectly healthy to do so. You have to make sure that the motivation and intentions behind your friendship are in the right light. For both parties. If this person was an important part of your life, I think it is important to be friends with this person in the future. So many of us hold onto our pride and forget that we once loved this person very much.

Plus you never know where it might lead you, maybe you realize wow this person is not the one for me at all. Or maybe you both realize with time apart that you still love each other dearly. Maybe certain Questions will be answered. But We have to be reminded- “Do not arouse or awaken love, until is so desires”- Verse in Song of Solomon. Do not try to get back with the person if they broke up with you, do not try to win their hearts… God knows your intentions. So make sure its purely for the sake of catching up and being a friend. :) Let God do the rest.

]]> By: Incredulous http://www.roxannewilson.com/relating-should-you-be-friends-or-enemies-with-your-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-948 Incredulous Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:36:26 +0000 http://www.roxannewilson.com/?p=878#comment-948 Break it off. Clean destruction. Because it becomes one of the many crutches that either reaches for in times of romantic duress. It's a lot of grey that gets mixed into that "friendship", and whether or not you realize, you harbor ill feelings from how it all ended that will undoubtedly pop up in the mix. UNLESS you can dissociate for more than a year and post-process the relationship over the course of the next 18 years. This is the only thing that has ever worked for me in this idea. Other people THINK it's worked, but scratch beneath the surface and you'll find there's rage, wounded hearts, and unresolved issues bubbling underneath. Break it off. Clean destruction. Because it becomes one of the many crutches that either reaches for in times of romantic duress. It’s a lot of grey that gets mixed into that “friendship”, and whether or not you realize, you harbor ill feelings from how it all ended that will undoubtedly pop up in the mix.

UNLESS you can dissociate for more than a year and post-process the relationship over the course of the next 18 years. This is the only thing that has ever worked for me in this idea. Other people THINK it’s worked, but scratch beneath the surface and you’ll find there’s rage, wounded hearts, and unresolved issues bubbling underneath.

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