I was sitting at lunch with my girlfriends and the conversation turned to men. Rare, I know.
Specifically we were talking about online dating. Much to my surprise, the ladies all had the same complaints:
“We hate guys’ profile pictures”…
At first I thought they meant the pictures that are 10 years and 30lbs lighter. But no, they had a whole new list of issues that shocked me. So on behalf of them and all ladies who dabble in online dating, guys here are 5 Commandments for Online Dating Profile Pictures. May this be helpful in your search for love:
Don't pose with ladies period.
1) Thou Shalt Not Post a Profile Picture With Your Arm Around a Random Girl
Why? Why would you do this? You may think it makes you look like you are more attractive with a woman by your side, but in a world where most men online wind up married, it’s best not to give the women any concerns. Who is that woman? We don’t want to know so don’t bother posting. (Same goes for the obviously cropped pictures of you with your arm around some girl. Just refrain.)
2) Thou Shalt Not Post a Profile Picture with Your Arms Around Waitresses, Dancers, or Blonde Coeds, or Girls in Bikinis
It really isn’t attractive. It makes you look like you are only out for a one thing…This goes for group pictures as well.
Put your shirt back on.
3) Thou Shalt Not Post a Profile Picture with Mirrored Sunglasses and/or Shirtless.
You aren’t The Situation and we aren’t from Jersey.
4) Thou Shalt Not Post a Profile Picture of Yourself in the Thinker Pose, Looking Off to the Side, or posed at all for that matter.
You just look amazingly silly. We can’t take you seriously let alone go out on a date with you.
5) Thou Shalt Not Post a Profile Picture Obviously Taken With Your Cellphone in the Bathroom Mirror.
You know who you are. It isn’t cute, so just stop. Like now.
Bonus Mentions:
– Thou Shalt Not Post a Profile Picture With a Blurred Gold Tooth.
- Thou Shalt Not Post a Profile Picture of a Picture.
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Are there any you would like to add? Add away below.
OK Cupid has statisticians on its staff and they did some kind of analysis of which type of profile pictures got the best response. The self-shot cell phone picture, for men and women, was one of the clear winners. I like them because there is the hope that it’s a very recent and representative picture.
A surprising number of guys seem to think that if they pose on their bed playing the guitar, they will get the kind of response that rock stars get. Learn from my experience when I promise you that it’s a sign of a deeper issue.