My Name Is Roxanne Wilson and I was Date Ditched…

Never blog angry! That’s why I’ve waited for weeks to write this blog. I have been laughing about it for two weeks now, so I think it is safe to blog.

My name is Roxanne Wilson and I was Date Ditched….

Picture this: January 2011

I meet a guy at a mutual friend’s get together…he was charming, funny, smart, talented. We had good banter. So I obliged when he asked for my number. Expecting nothing but hopeful.

He showed early signs of chivalry: texting me to banter, but calling me three-four days prior to ask for a date.

Date one: Had more great conversation. He was interesting, different, smart, and older than me (thank god!).

And the texting became “on the daily.”

Date two: Equally good. Maybe even better, he remembered my latest passion of Whiskey and took me to a bar dedicated to that after a nice dinner. Nice. I was still assessing, taking it all in. Learning about him.

Date three: He made me dinner at my place. This had me totally nervous. My place is my haven. Ask my close friends how many times they have been over except for one, they wouldn’t use more than one hand. But something about him made me think I could trust him. And I did. And it paid off. Without too much detail, it was a date I would feel comfortable with one of my 10th grade girls having.

Of course that had my head spinning as well.

After date three I was a little bit out of it…for me I was beginning to let my guard down. Getting ready to let him in and be more open. Whenever that happens it’s makes me feel uneasy, maybe even queasy. Believe it or not, I have some major layers when it comes to dating. It actually comes from dating. I digress…

Date four: We meet up with his friends for a fun night. He was particularly affectionate, funny, and very verbal about his feelings for me. All pointing towards potential. However he’d been celebrating a work success prior, so he was rather ‘happy’ aka drunk…he picked me up in a taxi. And although you may be groaning, I appreciated the social responsibility. Had this been a first date I would have put the kabash, but this guy made me dinner. I figured I would process it in the morning.

So we are talking, having a good time, and what not. And he said to me, “I don’t know why I like you so much but I do. I don’t even know you well.” I started to respond and then realized any answer was too serious for the night…

Then his good female friend, Delilah, who I’d been told I needed to meet via a girlfriend of mine, small world, announced that she was headed out. He offered to walk her to her car and told me he would be right back.

So I waited as I replayed the night. Time was ticking by…maybe ten minutes?

A guy came up to me and asked my about my ‘boyfriend.’

R: I don’t have a boyfriend,

Guy: Oh, that guy isn’t your boyfriend? Well he is totally into you.

I smiled and shrugged off the ticking clock…20 minutes….

This is odd. Let me just text him…

Are you coming back?

No response.

At about 25 minutes, I was restless. I’m not patient. I bumped into my friend Danielle, and I ran the scenario by her…

Danielle: Uh Uh. NO! You need to leave.

I knew she was right.

Okay I feel weird still sitting here, making rounds. Just go to the bathroom and then leave.

I ran into some acquaintances in the bathroom and ran the scenario by them.

Girls: Hell NO! You need to get out of here. Leave.

So I walked out of the bathroom, texted, I’m leaving, said my pleasantries to the those I knew, with my game “I didn’t just get date ditched because who does that?” face on and walked out. 30 min had gone by.

Destination ATM… As i walked to the ATM, i could feel them coming on.

I think I’m about to start crying on the street. Did this really happen? Did I just get date ditched? Do men scratch that, boys really do that? What in the world????

By the time I was in the taxi I was full on ugly crying. The sweet taxi driver was trying to console me.

Taxi: What’s Wrong?

R: I JUST….GOT…DATE…DITCHED…HE WENT…TO..WALK A GIRL TO HER CAR…AND NEVER…CAME BACK!

Taxi: It’s okay honey, God has a plan. He saved you from that guy and he will bring you the right guy.

R: BUT I’VE BEEN WAITING OVER THREE DECADES!

Yes I was pitiful…and yes this was like a scene from a movie.

Taxi: It’s okay….blah blah blah

He kept talking, kept consoling, one eye on the road one on me in the back. He was truly sweet. When the cab stopped he was still sharing words of encouragement. I insisted on paying him, I thanked him and exited the cab…

I called my brother in tears, at 1am. He said the right thing to calm me down.

Bro: Maybe he is hurt or wounded, or he got too drunk and lost his senses and got arrested.

Somehow hearing that it could be him and not me, made me feel better enough to call him, no answer, and then cry myself to sleep.

The next morning I called him again. Why? Because if he did get arrested I was one of the last to see him. No answer.So I texted him:

Please at least let me know you are alive so I can check concern of my list of emotions and just be hurt and mad.

No answer.

I went about my day…got a manicure…you better believe that was excellent manicure convo.

And then I remembered that Delilah, the girl he left with and I have a mutual friend. Maybe it was a mixure of denial, disbelief, and simply just wanting to know what happened that made me text the mutual friend:

The good news is I finally met Delilah. The bad news is she either stole my date or he is dead in a ditch. I don’t want to know the details if it is the former, but can you please reach out to her and see if she has heard from him since he walked her to her car and never came back?

Friend: R U Kidding Me?!?!?!

To make a long story short, he was alive. He started posting on Facebook that afternoon. And the reality of being date ditched became exactly that, reality.

Did I mention that this happened two days before Valentine’s day. Ha ha ha. That’s why I was the a Valentine’s Grinch! You better believe I was singing OutKast’s Happy Valentine’s Day (the unedited version).

I was hurt because Date Ditching is totally a personal affront. But I was even more hurt because I was about to trust this person. And I liked him. Hum Bug.

Have I heard from him since?

Yes…he emailed me two days later. But enough triggers happened after that, that as much as I wanted to believe his apology, there were way too many holes in it. Mind you it was in an email two days later.

Have I seen him since?

No.

I got duped. I thought I was dating a real man.

Real men are like leprechauns these days. I mean seriously. There are too many Wolves in Men’s clothing.

Am I jaded? I leave that for another blog….

Do you have a wild dating story? Leave it below.

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Comments

  1. Shot to the Heart says:

    I just got ditched last night :( Glad I’m not the only one!

    • roxanne says:

      So sorry to hear that. There is light at the end of the tunnel And NO you aren’t the only one. Hang in there!

  2. HORRIBLE! i need more info, what was his excuse? did he hook up with the other girl? omg.

    • roxanne says:

      He said he had a panic attack and rushed home…that was the excuse in the email. And I had compassion for that…Of course others saw him stumbling into another bar and responding to a girl who called his name on the street. So that shot his story out of the water. That and the avoidance of looking me in the face with the story, or even talking to me. Did he hook up with the girl? I would be silly to think that wasn’t possible. But who knows. I have no beef with her. Or really with him at this point. Time is an amazing thing. Oh Life!

  3. Stacey says:

    Awww Rox…. I have been there. I was “dating” a boy for FOUR months when he told me he was coming down to NYC on the train from West Point – he never showed up and that is how he broke up with me. I thought he was dead and called one of his friends who was surprised at my question “is X okay?” –”yes – he’s fine” – And he was supposed to be chivalrous – he was attending the best military school out there. It was awful – the worst dating experience I’ve ever had. The good news is I waited well over three decades, but good ones are really out there – the truth is these bad ones really are bullets to be dodged.

  4. liz says:

    Insanity. I still can’t believe this story.

  5. Sandra Curphey says:

    Sounds like you dodged a bullet, as painful as it was. Yes, I have dating stories, but they’re too long to go into without starting a blog myself. However, if you want to commiserate, I’ll be happy to visit with you about the sociopath I dated last year (yes, you met him at TTTT). Ugh!

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