Life is not about being right. And that sucks!
My good friend called me last night. She needed to talk and knew I would relate. Her week had been going from bad to worse: Her employer had been doing her wrong, her friend was wrongfully using her as a scapegoat and she was just feeling the heat.
She was Mad as Hell and Didn’t want to take it anymore! All she wanted to do was yell—yell at someone who deserved it. Tell them off good and proper.
Life is never a coincidence. I had be struggling all week with turning the other cheek. My advice:
It’s not about being right. Being right doesn’t matter in this world…Take your licks I told her.
She was incensed! What? “Why do I have to always take the high road?”
My response was simple, because that’s what you have to do. And in that moment I realized I’d actually learned something in my twenties.
Back in the day I thought being right was paramount. And if I was right, I felt completely justified in letting the person who was wrong know it…putting them in their place. And then I learned this important lesson from my ex-boyfriend. Brent used to talk me down from the ledge. He wouldn’t let me confront even calmly those who had wronged me.
He’d always say, it’s not worth it, just let it go!
And I would reply: What! But they wronged me.
And he would acknowledge it and advise me that the best thing to do was to walk away. Only because I loved and respected him did I take his advice. Every time I did, the outcome was so much better than the fallout of when I didn’t. And eventually that became my standard operating procedure.
At some point after doing that, confronting them,
I realized that there is no honor in going on record as being right.
If you tell off the person who has wronged you, all you accomplish is sympathy for that person. In that moment whether you were right doesn’t matter, but rather your behavior matters. Even if the person deserves the worst, how you treat them is how you are judged.
And sadly when it comes to some, a confrontation or conversation that is calm and civilized won’t work either. They will hear what they want to hear and have more ammo to come at you with.
It hasn’t always been easy, in fact most of the time it causes great internal pain. To feel misunderstood, misrepresented, wronged and mistreated, and never say anything not only hurts your heart, but it feels weak. I am anything but weak!
But turning the other cheek actually isn’t weak at all. There is strength in walking away—refusing to play the vile game.
The key is reconciling with yourself that there is nothing you can do about people talking about you. Keep your couth.
Live a life…your best life and move on.
Is it fair? No.
Does it suck? Yes.
Is it right? YES.
Sometimes it has to be enough to know you are right…Even if you are the only one that knows.
The good news is life really does come full circle whether I get to witness it or not. I believe my life is better for not always going on record being right.