The big question I’ve been asked since The River left is, “What’s Next?”
I wish I could answer that, but the answer right now is TBD…or maybe TBRTM – To Be Revealed To Me…
My goal right now is to take advantage of the time before TBD/TBRTM and learn as much as I can. So I thought I would share a little:
Lessons Learned on my extended employment hiatus…
And yes, it has only been two days, but you know me, I’m an over achiever, even on hiatus…I learning at a rapid pace.
1. Take time to grieve
Whether you quit, got fired, or your company ended, if you loved it even a little bit, you need to give yourself time to grieve it. Celebrate the experience and maybe even cry for the loss.
On Friday after the show was over, I headed to Hula Hut (I wanted a patio and water) and a handful of my peeps joined me for a champagne toast to a great chapter coming to an end. That was the beginning of my grieving process. And although I tried to keep moving last weekend, I felt the hurt.
You don’t pour yourself into something, leave your DNA on it aka blood, sweat, and tears, and not feel a sense of loss when its gone.
2. Stop being everything to everyone…
Here’s the thing, while you are grieving and Getting Back Up, the world is still moving. Obligations are still stacking up, and people expect you to be you.
At some point you have to look in your mirror–probably the one in the sunshade over your driver’s seat as you are frantically trying to make it to another event–and say, NO! No Roxanne, you are not at 100% Rox today. Even if you did make it to the event, you wouldn’t be you. It would suck more out of you than pour int you. SLOW DOWN! Breathe, and let people down.
Three ways I let people down since Friday:
- I missed a baby shower – I had the gift, the directions, everything, but I knew it would be a time crunch, and I knew I was running on empty. So I didn’t go.
- I rescheduled a meeting – It was a meeting that I knew was going to be emotionally draining. Right now I can drain myself emotionally without help, so I rescheduled it for next week.
- I stooped cramming other’s expectations into my schedule – After answering the phone twice at the drop of my hat for a group I should no longer have ties to, I stepped back and retooled my priorities.
I wasn’t proud about any of these initially. But I know I needed to take a moment and step back.
3. Take stock in your support system
A wise man told me that it is in times like these that you quickly learn who are and aren’t your friends.
Fortunately the wise man told me this in preparation for now. Realize this: everyone has there own way of dealing with things. Some don’t know what to say or how to deal, and they truly might say the inappropriate. In fact I promise you that someone you know WILL say or do the inappropriate. It’s all good. Because someone will also send you a sweet unexpected Facebook wall post, call or text you randomly, make you dinner, or even have a slumber party. You don’t really have time to dwell on who aren’t been there for you. Simply appreciate those who are.
My friends have been amazing. Amazing! It’s like they know when to call and what to say. It humbles me.
4. Do something new!
New is always exciting. I think I may be taking a cooking lesson from Susie Davis not only will I learn to cook something, but I’ll get to spend time with her. Double win!
5. Have Hope…Real Hope and enjoy God’s little delights.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am going through this period as preparation for the new chapter. That’s kind of how God works. After a hard weekend, I headed to Baylor on Monday to speak at an event for my fraternity, The Baylor Chamber of Commerce. It was a prestigious experience I’d never had the pleasure of doing before. Going back to my roots revitalized me. It reminded me of who I was, where I came from, how God has always provided.
In dark periods, God sends little messages reminding you he is there.
That event was on the books long before I knew that Friday was my last day. I don’t believe in coincidences. God gave me exactly what I needed.
Have you had an extended employment hiatus? What did you learn?