Have you ever lost your gusto, your oomph, your drive, your way?
I have. Multiple times. It’s true. It’s like I have these goals and sometimes seeing the finish line is easy, but the map to get there is so cloudy.
I plugged the finish line in my Google maps search and for some reason the location was not found. Sigh.
I know I get antsy in the pantsy, I want what I want when I want it. And that is soooo not how it works. All I really want is to know I am going down the right road. I just need some bread crumbs, just a little manna along the way.
Lately I have had a tough time feeling that way. I think it’s because I’ve had some seemingly random, outrageous encounters, of which I’ve blogged about. And although I bounce back, it has slowed down my stride. The crumbs are seeming less frequent. Maybe that last crumb was really a rock…
And if you remember, I’m focusing on living life without fear…I gave it up for Lent. Forcing me to trust the big man upstairs. And I do. But I want to be out of the discouragement phase. This weekend, I think I saw the light…my map started to take form.
Believe it or not, I credit my family, my Apprentice friend Charmaine Hunt and Perez Hilton. What???? Hey, bread (manna) comes in different flavors.
I headed to Nashville last week to celebrate my little sister, Rochelle’s journey. She is about to begin another phase in her journey in medicine. So the family converged on Nashville to be a part of her White Coat Ceremony–in front of her classmates, professors and families, she opened the fated envelope that announces where she will be spending her residency. We are now Gators!
Bread Crumb #1
I got in early and had the pleasure of catching up with my Apprentice cast mate, Charmaine. We hadn’t seen each other in a while so there was a lot to talk about. There is something about reconnecting with someone you’ve been through a rare experience with that creates understanding that you can’t always get just anywhere.
And as I told her about my goals and path, and as she didn’t blink, I knew I was headed down the right path. It was the first crumb I’d found on my trail in a while…
Bread Crumb #2
Then came reminiscing with my family about Rochelle’s med school journey…not easy. It reminded me what I truly do believe:
You will reach your dream if you keep trying and never give up.
Rochelle is proof positive of that…inspirational in fact. Two crumbs a la Nashville.
Bread Crumb #3
I returned to SXSW, in time for the “What Would Gaga Do?” panel. One of the panel members just happened to be Perez Hilton. Although the panel was geared towards up and coming artists (which was me…ha ha) and Perez’s words rang true in my head.
Perez was discussing the importance of up and coming musicians to have a unique online profile. He reminded them that Gaga didn’t just wake up and get discovered, she worked hard for it and it took time. When asked what to do first on the journey, he answered:
ALL OF IT! To not do all of it is lazy!
That totally struck a cord with me. Crumb three.
I have been lazy. I think more a little discouraged in certain areas, bogged down. But again, I truly believe that If you don’t quit, you will win.
love you girl. keep on shining the light.
It is so strange, Roxanne. Your posts sometime come in a right time with how I feel, strangely. Last time, I had trouble in my relationship, your post “Help! I have break-up residue…” came just in time. I learned to accept the pain after reading your post. Currently, I was constantly reminded of an abandoned dream. Then came this post. I found your posts very inspirational and sincere. Always look forward to your posting.
Rebecca,
Thank you for your comment–inspiring. It’s nice to know we are all closer than we realize in the ups and the downs. Thanks for your encouragement!