Have you ever been in that Single Girl Slump?

by roxanne on 07/08/09 at 6:21 am

I have! It’s not that I don’t enjoy being single, but sometimes I find myself in a funk. You know the kind: you feel blah! When you go out you aren’t social. You hate your clothes, your hair, etc. etc.

Here’s the required ingredient for the Single Girl Slump:
You are single, so you don’t have that guy next to you boosting you up on a bad day. So you are feeling bad and then you remember that no one is there to share your misery and you feel worse! STINK! (Let’s just hope at this point your mom doesn’t start asking you when she is going to get her grandbabies…)
Well as much as I dislike going through the Single Girl Slump, I must admit that I took stock as I as going through my latest one. I have a feel for how to cure the Single Girl Slump:

(1) DON’T go out if you are feeling the Single Girl Slump Grumps.

I made this mistake BIG time. I knew I was in the Slump but still accepted an invitation to hang with some girlfriends on a Friday night. I figured spending time with ‘my girls,’ and talking through some of my stuff would make me feel better.

Now when you have the Slump Grumps, you need to just accept that if the day doesn’t go EXACTLY how you planned, you are just going to feel worse. You are not open to being flexible, because let’s face it you aren’t your best self!

Well plans changed, the night that was supposed to be three friends hanging out and talking turned into a group of six, two of which I met that night. It was a D-Saster. I wanted bonding and I got superficiality. By the time I got home, I my Slump was a big Dump the size of the Grand Canyon. And I was mad at my girls! Why would they push such a foul (remember I was already in the dumps) night? (More on friends in #4)

(2) Don’t be afraid to make a drastic (and harmless) change.

I cut my hair last week. A lot led up to it, but ultimately I did it to slap myself–You know shake things up a bit.

Part of the Single Girl Slump is walking into a room full of people and feeling totally invisible; have you felt that?

Follow this train of thought though. I didn’t cut my hair to be visible to others, but rather I cut it for me. Regardless of anyone else’s response, after I cut my hair I was shocked everytime I walked past a mirror. I was reminded personally that I was not invisible and that the slump, dumps, grumps, are temporary.

(3) Keep perspective.

Throughout my slump, I kept my perspective on who I was. I knew that this was just a bad season, and it would pass. Sure I wasn’t feeling great about myself, but I never lost sight of the big dog upstairs…

(4) Surround yourself with GOOD friends — the kind that know you.

Hopefully we all have at least one friend to lean on. The one that you have been at your best and worst with and vice versa with OR, the kind you haven’t been through the battle with, but you know they would be there for you. That friend, is the one you should seek out in your Slumps.

Fortunately for me, my girl Meghan, who lives in Vermont, came in town last weekend for a wedding. Meghan and I have been through the fire and back together.

As Meghan and I spent time together this weekend, I shared my Slump with her.Â She was like my little angel sent from heaven. She said exactly what I needed to hear in exactly the way I needed to hear it.
And the fog I had been sitting in started to clear. It was the last piece of the “Single Girl Slumps Be Gone” pie that I had been munching on.

(5)Â Be grateful!

So you are just about out the Slumps eh? Awesome. But before you skip off and forget about it:

Don’t forget were you were. And take time to be grateful for the gifts you were given during your slump…the little reminders that everything was okay.

I’m grateful for Meghan, and for the timing of it all. Towards the end of my Slump, I just happened to be: participating in the Lakeway Parade (see below) with my good friends Jaime and co.; attending a wedding celebration between two people I adore; spending time with my dad and nephew who live out of town (see below).

I am grateful for ALL of these gifts and more. Oh and one more that I must mention… flirting. I hadn’t intentionally flirted in a while. I did this weekend, and the guy intentionally reciprocated the flirtation. Whoo hoo! Yes! This Single Girl is not only out of her Slump, but ‘I’ve still got it!’

Not that I am looking or anything…